“A person is measured by the company he keeps, like one pair of shoes placed next to another.” [Imam Ali]

Choosing good companions

Companionship is of great importance, we are social creatures and cannot do without the interaction with people. Companionship is essential for us, and we have a good example in the relationship between the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and his companions, who inherited his states and knowledge and were transformed as a result. The companionship we keep has an immense bearing upon the life we live, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

“A man is upon the religion of his companion, so let him look closely to the one he takes as an intimate companion.” [Abu Dawud]

Allah has commanded us in the Qur’an to seek virtuous companions. 

“O you who believe, fear Allah and be with those who are truthful.” [At-Tauba: 9:119]

Seek out companions who are fit for companionship: (1) good character and (2) intelligence, (3) befriend lots of good people and (4) avoid the company of immoral people.

1. Good Character

• Take as your companion a person who is honest and trustworthy, who has modesty before Allah enough to restrain his illicit desires.
• Take as your companion one who is patient and is able to restrain his anger.
• Take as your companion one who is sincere with Allah and sincere in his counsel to you.
• Take as your companion one if you extend your hand toward something good, he supports you in achieving it.
• Take as your companion one who when you are in need, he comes to your aid, and when you serve him, he appreciates you.
• Take as your companion one who assists and motivate you to do good, and when he sees you trying to do something wrong, steps forward and prevents you from it.
• Take as your companion one who if you spend time with him, beautifies you by his company; who adds to the qualities you already possess and encourages you to be even better.
• Take as your companion one who when you sit before him reflects your true self-image, who will gently correct you, remove any blemishes and shortcomings.
• Take as your companion one who will love you in Allah and his loyalty to you is because of his covenant to Allah.

2. Intelligence

Try to find the company of intelligent people, they will help you develop a critical mind, sound arguments and teach you at every opportunity. Beware of taking a foolish person as a companion, for such companionship will ultimately harm you, as often said.

“An intelligent enemy is better than a dim-witted companion, for he will harm you whilst he intends to benefit you.”

3. Befriend lots of good people

Try to befriend many people, and select from among them as many honest friends and sincere companions as you can, for what you find lacking in one will be completed by another. Hold fast to them as they are the best provisions to have on life’s journey, for they are an enrichment in times of ease and a pillar support in times of difficulty. In whatever state you are in, they will help you to remember Allah and remain steadfast. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

“(The best of companions) is he who reminds you of Allah when you see him, increases you in knowledge when he speak and whose actions reminds you of the Hereafter.” [Abu Ya’la]

Ultimately, the keeping of company of righteous companions will facilitate you to acquire good habits, instil praiseworthy character, make you more obedient of Allah and help you stay away from falling into sins.

4. Avoid bad companionship

Refrain from keeping the company of immoral people.

• Do not take one as your companion one whose character is not upright, whose actions are immoral and whose interactions are dishonest.
• Do not take one as your companion one who when you stumble, he does not help you.
• Do not take one as your companion one who when you make mistakes, he does not cover your faults and when you upset him, he does not forgive you.
• Do not take one as your companion one who is irreligious and neglectful of the prayer, who persistently engages in committing acts of disobedience and has no regards for the limits of Allah.

Being in the company of such people on a regular basis will make you accustomed to their wrongdoings, and in time these enormities that they commit will become familiar and insignificant in your eyes. Stay away from gatherings that cause your faith to diminish, or kindles in you the desires to commit sins or simply prevents you from being engaged in doing something beneficial.

“An enemy through whom you draw nearer to Allah is better for you than a friend who alienates you from Him.” [Ata’illah]

“Do not keep the company with anyone whose state does not inspire you and whose speech does not guide you to Allah.” [Hikam|43] 

Transference of good fragrance

“Natures are thieves – they take from one another without consent.” [Arabic proverb]

We now know that human nature takes from being exposed to human nature where transference of knowledge and character traits is transferred like osmosis by keeping company with people. We take on personality, philosophy and psychological make-up of those who we keep close company without even realising. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) gave us this very well known metaphor:

“The example of a good companion in comparison with a bad one, is like that of a perfume seller and a blacksmith blowing a pair of bellows. The one who selling perfume would either give you some perfume as a present, or you will buy some from him, or you will get a good smell from him, but the one who is blowing a pair of bellows will either burn your clothes or you will get a bad smell from him.” [Bukhari]

In simple words, keeping the company of a good companion, you will get a good fragrance from him and keeping the company of a bad companion, you will either get burnt in the due process or acquire stench.

“Indeed a man is known by the company he keeps.” [Imam Ali]

So take care and look attentively as to whom you have chosen as your companion(s), verily a person is as good as the company he keeps! May Allah make us good companions for others and may He facilitate us with the provision of good people who help each other to remember Allah.