“A man may trip over his tongue worse than he trips over his feet.” [Bayhaqi]

The tongue is often referred as the interpreter of the heart; every statement spoken reveals to the world what lies within the heart.

“Give me a day and I will tell you what kind of person he is. A man lies hidden underneath his tongue and valued through his sayings…

A wise man first thinks and then speaks and a fool speaks first and then thinks.

A fool’s mind is at the mercy of his tongue and a wise man’s tongue is under the control of his mind.” [Imam Ali]

The potential of the tongue

The tongue is indeed a great gift from Allah; it is what allows us the ability to communicate with one another, it’s this adeptness to speak so clearly of our thoughts and feelings which separates us from animals. The tongue is small in size; its potential to do good is enormous and so is its potential to cause harm.

The potential goodness of the tongue:

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “There are two phrases that are light on the tongue but heavy on the scale of rewards and are dear to Allah. These are, ‘Subhanallah wa bi-hamdihi wa Subhanallah Al-Azim.’” [Bukhari] 

“SubhanAllah (Glory be to Allah) is half the scale, Alhamdulillah (All praise be to Allah) fills it (completely). And AllahuAkbar (Allah is the Greatest) fills the space between the Heaven and the Earth.” [Tirmidhi]

“A man speaks a good word, not realising its worth, for which Allah records for him His good pleasure till the day he meets Him.” [Tirmidhi].

The potential harms of the tongue:

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “A man speaks an evil word not realising its importance for which Allah records for him His displeasure till the day he meets Him” [Tirmidhi].

“A man says something without realising its effect for which he falls into Hell the distance between sunrise and the sunset” [Bukhari].

“A man says something in which he sees no harm for which he falls into Hell for seventy years” [Bukhari]. 

Once a word leaves the mouth it can never be taken back.

“Everything a son of Adam says counts against him and not in his favour, except recommending what is good, prohibiting what is objectionable, or making mention of Allah.” [Tirmidhi]

A well controlled tongue will keep us safe whilst a loose tongue can harm us and others (as words can cut deeper than a sharp knife) and ruin us in the Hereafter.

Learning how to speak

Types of speech

A quick and effective way of bringing the tongue under control is to know what kind of speech we engage in our day to day life. At the basic level, our speech can be classified in to three:

1. Speech that is beneficial.

2. Speech that is harmful.

3. Speech that is neither beneficial nor harmful – redundant speech.

Stick with the first, abandon the second and reduce the third. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

“Say what is good or remain silent.” [Bukhari]

The more we talk, the greater the likelihood of us saying that which is unbeneficial and harmful. Silence should be the norm and speech should be the exception such that we only speak when we have something good to say. 

“The wise have inherited wisdom by means of silence and contemplation.”

Learning when to speak

Speech is either true or a lie, and silence is either born out of contemplation or heedlessness. If we speak the truth, our words are better than our silence, but if we invent a lie, our silence is better than our speech. This then creates four possibilities: two kinds of speeches and two kinds of silences.

1. If speech is not truthful and not beneficial, don’t say it.

2. If speech is not truthful and beneficial, don’t say it.

3. If speech is truthful and not beneficial, don’t say it.

4. If speech is truthful and helpful, wait for the right time.

For many of us, talking comes as naturally as breathing and there is no limit to what we will say. It is the restraining of ourselves from speaking which proves difficult. It is worth remembering that two angels are on standby for every moment of every day recording every word we utter. Allah said in the Qur’an:

“And not a single word does one utter but there is a vigilant guardian at hand ready to note it down” [Al-Qaf: 50:18].

Social scientists have noted that in a typical week, an average person is estimated to speak enough words to fill a 500 page book. Close your eyes for a moment and reflect as to what the angels might have written in the pages of the previous week of your life? What about the content within the pages of the book of your life? 

“It takes around two years to learn to speak. But it takes a lifetime to learn when to speak and when not to speak.”

We have to learn silence as we have learnt to speak. Only then, will our speech guide and benefit us and our silences protect us and teach us.

Great reward for controlling the tongue

The reward for exercising restrain on the tongue is immense, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

“’Whoever can guarantee me two things, I guarantee them Paradise.’ The companions asked ‘What, O Messenger of Allah (ﷺ)?’ He replied: ‘What is between his jaws (his tongue) and his legs (private parts)’” [Bukhari].

May Allah forgive us for what we have said out of ignorance and increase us in the beneficial speech.